I'm Not OK

I'm not okay,
I really am not
Every time I look in the mirror I don't see what I wanted to be
I just see some sort of monster
I see something full of pain

I'm not okay at all
I cant understand up from down
or right from wrong
I'm not okay with myself
I'm not okay with you
I cant handle this at all

I'm not okay when you leave me
I may put on a brave face, but we both know its a lie
I'm not okay at all

I'm not okay with myself
I'm full of self hate and loathing
I hate everything about me and you
I have so much rage
I'm not okay and neither are you

I cant handle it anymore
I want this pain and sadness and hate to go away
I cant handle love at all
I hate it
I hate myself
I hate you
I hate anything and everything

I'm not okay with this at all
I'm not okay when you leave or walk out
I'm not okay when you breath
I'm not okay with you speaking
I'm not okay with you taking up space at all
I'm just not okay
I hate you
I hate me
I want it to end with me
Just take a look in the mirror and you will find me
I'm not okay.

Comments

  1. Wow, very powerful words. I can relate to this. Reading this makes me think that it was almost as if I'd written it myself from my own thoughts

    ReplyDelete

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